Having a baby is an amazing experience that changes your life. But regardless of how you are in harmony with your baby, neonatal care is making major changes in your sex life.
Although the return to normal sexual life it may be difficult, it is a necessary process that challenges most couples. It's hard, but doable, as long as you have reasonable expectations of yourself and your body.
When possible after birth to start having sex?
A small number of couples start having sex within the first month after birth, but doctors recommend you wait six weeks. After three months, most couples resume sex life.
Before you start having sex, you should be postpartum vaginal discharge. Regardless of whether you had natural childbirth or cesarean, women have bleeding and have to wait for them to stop, otherwise you might get an infection in the vagina or uterus. If during childbirth occurred breaks, you need to wait for the complete healing of stitches. You must remember that only a gynecologist after personal examination say can you resume sexual activity, or do you need to wait a bit.
Fatigue and lack of sleep kill sexual desire
For young mothers, a sense of fatigue and lack of sleep, perhaps the biggest obstacle to a sense of their sexuality.
The baby usually wakes up for feeding every two to three hours around the clock. This model can continue for several months. About 30% of children under nine months do not sleep all night. It's pretty exhausting. And how can you feel a sexy woman? You probably feel that you are the mother machine, devoid of their feelings and desires. Dad could be so tired. But you still think about sex and want your sex life back to normal. For couples sex life, a chance to relax, to feel emotionally close, and of course to satisfy their sexual needs.
Men usually don't need pre workout to begin sexual games. But the woman, talking and foreplay. At a time when you just had your baby, you may need even more time to switch roles from mom, to the role of a sexy woman who is burning with passion and craves for sex. Fatigue and feeling of lack of sleep exacerbates the problem. You have to find a solution. For example, talk to your man, explain that you're really tired but you want sex and you need a little time for yourself. Take a hot bath, shower, take a little time to themselves. You will rest and after putting the baby to sleep, can log in to the sexual game is much easier and faster. Even if your baby wakes up in the heat of the moment (and this happens often), it is important to keep a sense of humor and to translate everything into a joke. Remember it won't last forever. Children grow very quickly and your sense of fatigue, too, will pass, and it is important to be able to preserve your emotions and your sexual world. Even if you at some point, no energy for sex, you always have the strength to kiss and hug each other or just say a few warm words of love.
Hormones and sex. Painful sex after birth
Hormones are also part of the problems with sex after childbirth. The estrogen level falls after delivery. This can lead to lack of vaginal lubrication that can make sex painful or less pleasant because of the dryness in the vagina.
Easy solution: use a lubricant during sex. No grease, it will help to fill the missing lubrication and easily endure temporary vaginal dryness. It is better to choose without glycerin water-based lubricant (glycerin leads to yeast infections). Our advice: choose a lubricant without any fragrances, dyes. It is desirable that its membership consisted of active ingredients, e.g. aloe Vera, chamomile, vitamin E, etc., which promote rapid healing and restoration of the vaginal walls. On the market a huge selection of the lubricants (of lubrication). It is important to know that the mucous tissue is very thin and absorbs more than half of what you put on it. Better to buy a natural lubricant. Natural lubricant is completely safe while breastfeeding.
Experiment with different postures, can help find a suitable and most appropriate for you at the moment pose.
If the lack of lubrication makes sex painful or if sex hurts for a different reason, in any case do not suffer pain. Explain to your partner, ask him to slowly enter the penis. Be sure to discuss the pain with your gynecologist .
The problem of lack of grease usually go away after you stop breastfeeding or after hormones are back to normal.
Hormonal changes after childbirth can also be associated with postpartum depression, which can suppress sexual desire.
Breastfeeding has many benefits. But it can create a few pitfalls when trying to resume a sex life.
The physical and emotional costs of breast-feeding the baby, unable to block the thoughts about sexual desires of the mother. Continuous feeding makes your breast is so sensitive that you may just not want to have your man caressed her. But it's the positive side. A nursing mother must remember that good sex and orgasm of course, contribute to the production of more milk. So, if mom has dramatically decreased the amount of milk, then instead of running around in hysterics thinking how to feed the child, quietly take care of dad's business. The Pope then must try to start how to be a mother, to have the sexual pleasure developed milk. If you suddenly do not have enough lubrication, everything is easier: buy a tube of lube and let it always be at hand.
Changing body after birth
During pregnancy many women gain weight. It takes time to lose weight. Added to all newly acquired stretch marks and sagging belly, fresh scar (if cesarean section) is a great set to look at my body and was dissatisfied with them. After birth, many do not accept all of these changes and be ashamed of their bodies, and even depressed. But you'll be surprised how many people, including your husband, will tell you compliments. Because all these changes are important only to you, others simply do not notice. You will learn to live with the scar, and with the extra stretching and weight (if you are going to work on themselves) leave, it is important to love yourself the new and remember that it's not so important when you have a toddler. While you are getting used to a new buy sexy lingerie hiding those places that bother you. Well chosen lingerie, it really helps to feel sexy. Another interesting option how to get rid of shyness, erotic costume (you know: nurse, maid, stewardess...). Do not have to appear before her husband in an erotic costume with the words: "Well, where is the patient, I will conduct a thorough inspection", although it is possible, but I think everyone's fantasy work as needed and without further ADO. It's time to start experimenting in your bedroom or in the bedroom...
Another physical problem is that during childbirth the vaginal walls stretch, that can reduce friction and thereby reduce sexual pleasure. So that the muscles come in tone, must undergo a certain amount of time. Try the Kegel exercise. Repeated compression and expansion of the muscles, can help in this situation.
You must accept all the changes that have happened to you as a part of motherhood
If you have any problems with the resumption of sexual activity - except for physical problems - it can be emotional problems. Think about why you don't want to have sex with her man?
One of the typical emotional blocks, that feeling of anger or resentment for what you do all day sit at home changing diapers, while your spouse is reunited with the real world and nothing prevents him to do normal things, like work outside the home and conversations, communicating with other people. If you are angry over something your man ... you will hardly be in the mood to have sex with them. Whatever you weren't special before birth, after birth we all have the same disputes and problems. Talk about your feelings, about what bothers you, excites, together solve problems. Many of these problems can be solved by discussion.
A new stage of sexual life
Although much depends on each of us, but within a year after birth everything begins to normalize. Love, mom and dad take their new role of parents, after spending much time with the baby. Realizing the gravity but also the joy and fullness of life that gives them their baby.
During this time, both partners accept that they may not be as much sex as it was before, though, because free time was much less. They can't spend that much time lounging in bed. But all this is a normal stage of development of your family, and with every phase you can encounter new norms of sexual life. What matters is that you both feel happy. If one of the partners dissatisfied sex life, you need to talk about it before it can develop into a serious problem.
And while you were parents and your sex life is going through a new stage of development of family, main is to support each other, help each other to cope with the new role. And remember that even if today you have no mood for sex, you should definitely hug, kiss, tell each other words of love, to save your delicate sensibilities. More kiss, kiss a lot, hug, this will keep your love!